The folly of worry

Let me speak briefly, I have a confession to make... One of my sin struggles is worry. I fight it but find it a stumbling area often. Desiring to conquer this temptation by God's Spirit I sought out help from the Word of the Lord.  So here are my Biblical thoughts on worry and how to overcome it.

I thought of 5 Biblical reasons to avoid worry, and 4 Biblical ways to combat it.

1.) Worrying forgets the Gospel
It denies God’s sovereignty and power.  Christ has said in John 14 that we are not to let our hearts “be troubled.”  Why?  Because He was going to be and has now died and been raised, thereby making the way for man to get to God.  Worry denies the peace promised by the Holy Spirit and makes God out to be a liar.  It forgets the Gospel’s power to bring peace as it fails to trust that Christ is a refuge for all our strife.  Worry elevates some stresses as being beyond the perfect plan and power of God.

2.) Worrying is meditation
Defined, to meditate is to “think deeply or focus one's mind for a period of time.”1  It is to have your mind captive to something.  Scripture tells us that we are to let our minds dwell (meditate) on Christ and His Word.  The truths of God are to be our meditation.  In Psalm 19:14 the Psalmist pleads with God to let his every word, every thought and every devotion be pleasing to God.  Verse 13, however, sheds some additional light to his plea.  He petitions the Lord to keep him away from presumptuous sins.  The “presumptuous sin” in worrying is presuming that meditating on what you can do about a worry will produce a more favorable result.  It sets the meditation of your heart on that issue and resolving it as opposed to trusting the Lord to do what is right and in keeping with His perfect will.

3.) Worrying is idolatry
If worry is your meditation and meditation is that which you think and dwell on... then doesn’t it stand to reason that what you dwell on is your idol?  That stings a bit.  We know we aren’t to have any idols (Exodus 20:4-6).  Instead we are to dwell on Christ alone, but how easily idols sneak in and construct themselves in plain sight, and before we know it we have allowed them choice real estate in our heart.  Idols form when our hearts are drawn away from Christ by other things (Deuteronomy 30:17).  They are demonic in origin and dressed as something seemingly harmless but massively destructive to us.  Be on guard for them in your heart.

4.) Worrying is disobedient
It seems that this one should be most obvious, yet it bears stating even still.  Matthew 6:25-27, Jesus declares that we aren’t to worry.  Our Father, He says, knows our needs and will provide.  So to engage in constant worry is to disobey the Word of the Lord.  Before you think me legalistic, please remember that God’s Law is a law of liberty!  Though often stated in the negative (“Thou shall not...”) they are always intended for our good.  They are intended to preserve our joy by focusing us on Him and our need for Him in all things.

5.) Worrying is vanity
What good does worrying incessantly do?  “Which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life?” (Matthew 6:27).  What more needs to be said about the sheer wastefulness and vanity of worrying?

So what should we do?

I write to you, the one tempted to incessant worrying, from the trenches with you.  My mother says that I get that nature from her.  Maybe I am predisposed genetically to struggle with worry to some extent, but the truth is that I wrestle with it because sin dwells in my flesh.  I don’t set out trying to worry, but it creeps in at times just the same.  At its worst in me I literally lie in bed, my mind racing so fast over the many daily things I’ve decided to worry about, that I can hardly lie still.  There are few things more frustrating than a restless mind fixated on worry.  For someone whose sin struggle doesn’t include worrying, this is hard to understand.  I explained that those times when the worrying is at its worst, in my mind, it feels as though I am trying to divide a number by a color to derive a letter.  I mean that quite literally!  I have seen that frustrating formula over and over in my mind at times.  (I should note that these extreme times happen mostly while I am trying to sleep, but during times of extreme worry nonetheless). It is the sign of just sheer mental exhaustion that has come on over time as I have failed to pray and rest in Christ as I ought.  As the Lord works in and grows me I am learning how to more quickly rest in Him and for that I am grateful.

Can you relate to this struggle?  If so, here are some Scriptural helps.

1.) Pray – (Philippians 4:6) – Seems simple, but for those who struggle with worry we also struggle to keep our mind focused during times of prayer.  If you find it difficult to pray at all times and stay focused, wrestle and pray all the more!  Strive in prayer until you feel the Spirit of God bring you rest.

2.) Seek God’s Glory, not Your Solutions. – (Matthew 6:33) – Certainly we are to engage our minds in problem solving but there is a difference between evaluation and problem solving vs worry.  Ask God to help you seek His will above all things.  Seek His wisdom and trust His sovereign plan.  Striving with worry will only weigh you down (Proverbs 12:25).

3.) Humble Yourself. – (1 Peter 5:6-11) – Worry is arrogant because it sets our “wisdom” over God’s.  Scripture says to humble ourselves “under the Mighty Hand of God.”  We are to cast all our cares upon Him “because He cares for” us and is abundantly mighty to take all the cares we can think of and infinitely more.  We are promised rest if we will seek it from the Lord (Matthew 11:28-30).

4.) Remember the Gospel. – (Romans 8:28-39) – Are you born again?  Redeemed by Christ?  Think on that!  What greater promise is there?   I know of none, than to be certain that I have been redeemed by the Lord Jesus Christ.  Remember the Gospel and apply it!  What worry is greater than the problem you once had of being condemned and under the wrath of God for your sin?  None.  Yet Christ was mighty enough to rescue you from your condemnation.  Will He now not be able to strengthen you, guide you, and give you joy and rest?  Of course!  Nothing, not even that which you worry over, can separate you from the love of God in Jesus Christ.  Nothing.  So, my fellow worriers, let’s press on in the love of Christ together and trust Him to care for us as He has promised to do.

If you found this article helpful, please encourage others by re-posting it to your facebook, twitter, or other appropriate social media outlet. Also, feel free to comment and let me know how God has worked in you to overcome worry.

10 Truths We MUST Teach Our Sons

A few months ago I read a great blog article entitled "Seven Things We Must Tell Our Daughters."  It was so helpful to me as a Father of 2 daughters.  As I've thought through that article since then it occurred to me that the reason every generation of young women has increasing struggles with a healthy body image, self-respect, and purity is partially, if not near fully, due to males refusing to be men.

Sadly we are living in a culture that is embracing males who refuse to be men.  A generation where males are believing it acceptable to act like teenagers well into their 40's and the women they chase romantically are supposed to lower their standards and accept it as well.

So as a Father with 2 sons of my own I am thinking through how I can raise them to be a real men.  Men who are ready to lead their generation towards Christ and not conformity to this world.

Please know I do not consider myself perfect nor do I have any lofty ideas that I will do this without mistakes.  But prayerfully with God's guidance when I do fail I will demonstrate repentance to my sons so that they learn even from my sinful shortcomings.

Here are 10 suggestions for truths that we must teach our sons to raise a generation of men, not boys.  These are not intended as a comprehensive list.  Feel free to comment with any you may have that are not on the list and I may include them in future updates to this article.

10 Truths We Must Teach Our Sons

1.) You are valuable

You have value simply because you have been created by God.  No matter what standard the world holds up as criteria for the worth of a man, don’t buy into it.  Even still you have a God-given value and as your father I will help you to see that value so that in turn you glorify God for it and grow to understand what it means to be a real man one day.

2.) Your ‘manliness’ is not determined by the bench press

Physical strength has value in both your physical health and ability to protect others.  However, you are not the sum total of your muscles.  You are not less of a man if you can’t track and kill an animal bare handed, build a car from scratch, and bench press a small train.  You may or may not be able to do any of those things.  There is nothing wrong with any of them. In fact, you may find any or all of them to be incredibly useful skills, but they do not define you. You may be able to do many other things.  First and foremost, real men commit to love God and love/protect their family above themselves.  My prayer is that you always see this modeled in me.

3.) You don’t NEED a girl

Not right away at least.  Take advantage of the time of your childhood and youth to learn what it means to be a Godly man as it relates to your relationship with a woman.  Use your pre-adult life to learn what you need to be to one day be a great husband and father.  God’s Word defines both of these things.  Seek out His truths as your treasure.  You do not learn how to be a husband by dating around and making emotional attachments with girl after girl.  Furthermore your singleness is not a bad thing.  If you are not ready to pursue marriage, you are not ready to have a girlfriend.  Your job as a man is to protect the heart of any woman you know.  From the friendships you develop through that, God will send you a wife who will be the delight of your heart.  I have that delight with your mother and I pray that you see that in the way I treat her. Beginning with your mother and sisters, the girls who you form friendships with in life, on to the woman that you will one day marry and the daughters you may have of your own in the future; strive to protect their hearts.  As your buddies go through relationship after relationship and heartache after heartache, just remember, if you are not prepared to love, care for, and sacrifice your life for her you aren’t ready to marry her.  You must be able to choose to love her the way that Christ chose to love you.

4.) You are ‘cool’ just as you are

This is not intended to inflate your ego or anything and it isn’t to make you believe you aren’t sinful and in need of Christ. (You are a sinner, same as me, and you DO need Christ to rescue you from your sin.)  I want you to know that ‘cool’ is not defined by popularity, athletics, or even academics.  You being satisfied with and pursuing a life that pleases God is all you need to concern yourself with.  At many times that very thing will be the most ‘uncool’ thing you can do according to your peers.  I am not going to be more proud of you for being the star quarterback or straight A student than I am with you simply being who God made you to be; a young man who loves Christ and seeks to put away the sinful flesh in order to pursue Him more.

5.) ‘Boys will be boys’ is a terrible lie!
Of course boys will be boys in the genetic sense.  Boys are born boys and will remain males for their whole lives. You must know that excusing ‘youthful indiscretion’ with the cliché that it’s ok because boys just do those sorts of things is unacceptable.  Hear me clearly that the lust of the flesh and crass crude behavior is natural because of your sin nature but it is not okay.  It is a temptation from Satan that men are prone to give in to all too easily.  You must resolve early on to wage war against those desires now.  Go to God in prayer and ask Him to help you apply His Word and to strengthen you.  Ask Him to protect your mind, eyes, and heart and keep them pure and undefiled.  ‘Boys will be boys’ cannot and will not be used as an escape in my house nor will it be tolerated as acceptable and you will cripple your development into manhood if you buy into this destructive lie.

6.) Your eyes are to desire your wife, not every woman you see

Related to the previous truth, the world will tell you that it is ok to look and lust after any woman you see and find desirable.  This is a lie.  Jesus has said that to look with lust is equal to having committed adultery with her.  You’ve sinned in your heart against God and her in doing so.  While the temptation is common and normal, it is not who God made you to be.  Though portrayed otherwise in most media, women are NOT lesser creatures to men.  They do not exist to fulfill your lustful desires.  You must train your mind to view women as God’s beautiful creation, not a source of lust, no matter how much skin she may be showing off.  It is ok to find a woman attractive and admire the beauty God has given her, but you must be very careful to guard your heart that it goes no further for any woman who is not your wife.  You need to understand that there is great beauty in a woman of modesty, not immodesty.

7.) Love your Mother

I will not always be around.  I will age and one day die just as everyone in this world does.  God has given me sons because you are to protect and lead the family in my absence.  I hope that you see in me that I love your mother deeply.  When I am loving your mother as God has called me to, you will see modeled there how you are to love your wife one day.  I hope that I am training you to do that well and when you fail to do it, as I often do, I hope that you see me repenting and learn repentance yourself.  If you cannot love your mother and sisters, you cannot love a wife.  I will commit to teach you how to love showing you what that looks like.

8.) You have talents and abilities that God has given you

You have talents and abilities and gifts that God has given specifically to you.  He intends for you to use those to glorify Him with them.  If you aren’t using them to His glory you are in danger of sinning.  Pursue those talents with an eye on the cross.  Seek God for wisdom to distinguish between Godly desires and uses for those talents verses worldly ones.

9.) Follow Christ, not the world

Be courageous in the face of opposition to those who would have you go the way of the condemned.  The Bible says that it is the wise that walk in the way of the Lord.  It is he who walks in the way of the Lord who is blessed.  Do not waste your life walking with the fool in their folly.  As you decide what to do and what not to do, filter all of your decisions through Scripture and bathe them in prayer.  Seek counsel from me and other Godly men in your life.  Put no value on the wisdom of fools who do not love Christ.  They will lead you astray.  There is one passion and one alone worth living your life for and it is Christ, nothing else will satisfy. 

10.) I love you

I love you.  I make it my goal to tell you, your brother, your mother, and sisters that on a daily basis.  You are not less of a man for being able to say ‘I love you’ to someone that you love.  In fact it is a Godly attribute to be able to not only say but to show love to those in your life whom you care about. Just as God calls on you to love others, so too He intends for you to express it.  I hope I model that for you.  I want you to hear that I love you because as you grow and feel turned away by this friend or that or experience disappointment I want echoing in your mind that no matter what, I will always love you.  More than that, you must remember that God loves you.  No matter how hard life gets remember God loves you and desires you to trust Him, not the world.  I want you to know that I will always be there for you whether we are celebrating your successes or crying together over failures or talking through your mistakes to learn valuable lessons.  I will always love you.

A Prayer for Year’s End

A Prayer for Year’s End - (Taken from The Valley of Vision)

O Love beyond Compare,
Thou art good when thou givest,
when thou takest away,
when the sun shines upon me,
when night gathers over me.
Thou hast loved me before the foundation of the world,
and in love didst redeem my soul;
Thou dost love me still,
in spite of my hard heart, ingratitude, distrust.
Thy goodness has been with me another year,
leading me through a twisting wilderness,
in retreat helping me to advance,
when beaten back making sure headway.
Thy goodness will be with me in the year ahead;
I hoist sail and draw up anchor,
With thee as the blessed pilot of my future as of my past.
I bless thee that thou hast veiled my eyes to the waters ahead.
If thou hast appointed storms of tribulation,
thou wilt be with me in them;
If I have to pass through tempests of persecution and temptation,
I shall not drown;
If I am to die,
I shall see thy face the sooner;
If a painful end is to be my lot,
grant me grace that my faith fail not;
If I am to be cast aside from the service I love,
I can make no stipulation;
Only glorify thyself in me whether in comfort or trial,
as a chosen vessel meet always for thy use.